I’ve been given eyes to see the world
I’ve been given a chest to fill with air
I’ve been given a heart to love
And a sense of awareness to enjoy it all
And yet I find myself sometimes
As lifeless as a rock
Blinded, choked, aching
Yearning to be free
A throbbing heart,
A set of eyes,
A rhythmic breath
And a sense of existence
Do not need practice
And yet I find myself
A complete amateur in life.
bohemiaspeaks.com
And then those times
Where life like pleasant clouds
Softly moving through the sky
Without a chartered course
Yet never lost to gazers
from below
And then those times
Where life like wine
Poured into glasses
Red and ripe with zeal
Making us soft at head
Yet never foolish
In our choices
And then those times
Where dreamy Sunday afternoons
Ending with a setting sun
Perched atop a golden gleaming sea
Are simple yet magnificent
Without the need
for audience
And then those times
Where magic lost
Inside our hearts
Is filled with madness
Roaming like a ceiling fan
Only to find ourselves
Where everything began
And then those times
Where life has passed us by
Measured by our memories
Smiles and loves and cries
And then those times
Where life content with what
we have become
Heavy oak trees
Rooted in the ground
Still reaching up
Trying trying trying
To be free
—————————————————————————————
bohemiaspeaks.com
I walk barefoot,
Not because I’m naked
Nor poor
Nor in need of shoes
But because I’m curious
To feel and reconnect
With clay beneath my feet
And muddy fields
To voyage through
A forgotten world
That’s right beneath our feet.
Now, we walk barefoot
Together
Fields a bit more green to touch
And as the blades of grass
caress our heels,
the sunshine rains
between our toes.
I feel I know you more.
We dance
I witness all your life
Your past and present
and what’s to come,
As your feet sway gently
across the floor.
And in the morning,
Our hearts still cold
From the loneliness of night
But our feet are bare
and slightly touching
anticipating another day
Making shapes,
telling stories,
and leaving footprints
on our way.
—————————————————————————————
bohemiaspeaks.com
(Adapted from my post on October 18, 2013)
That which we call life
That which we call love
Serenaded under the sun
Hanging in the air
Dancing in a cup of coffee’s steam
Broken like the grass beneath us
But green
A withering apple tree
Will ripen with the days,
And share its fruity love
With bees and mocking jays.
In snowfall there is hope,
For those of us who roam
The footprints of a deer
Will always point towards home
And scorching suns may turn
A sandy shore to coal,
But wavy seas will rise
To soothe our aching soles.
Those seasons of decay
Will always end in May
And every broken heart,
Will mend itself with clay.
—————————————————————————————
bohemiaspeaks.com
Confined to the very elements that make up who we are, we struggle every day to break the rules of nature. And little do we know that nature’s rules are only broken with little blows to our inner selves and to those we love around us. Above the rubble of what we break are countless heaps of problems that need repair. And only through the same collective pain that wrought this err can we find amends for our transgressions.
—————————————————————————————
bohemiaspeaks.com/about
The children gathered by her side, that gray haired lady spoke above the sound of crackling firewood. And as her squeaky voice filled up the room, a solemn silence creeped forward from the dark. Our shadows cast upon the wall, it seemed that we were stuck between two worlds. Unable to escape this mesmerizing tale, our ears were captive to her lips that somehow softened as we listened more. With every word her youthful countenance unmasked, fluttering in the paleness of the flames. She spoke:
It is in grief
That we bond
And in happiness
That we disperse
So question
Every time you smile
Are you happy
Or sad?
The anomaly of life
Is this
Billions wired to
A painful smile
Fighting to conceal
Their inner fears
And happiness
Becomes an act
of solidarity
Forged by the flaws
Of self-fullfilment
Who would want
To live alone
in this cold world?
We’ve flipped the dials
To choose a life of smiles
Interrupted by a thousand tears
And nothing is
Nor ever will be
What it seems
—————————————————————————————
bohemiaspeaks.com/about
I see this castle here
Water flowing
Above the sand
Greatness down
To the very last
Golden grain
Time is flowing
Underneath my feet
Waves dancing
With the sandy shores
And even the sharpest rocks
Lose their temperament
And become glossy
Like the sea
An eternal patience
Eating slowly from the land
From our homes
From our lives
From our dreams
Testifying to a universal truth
That nothing is what it seems
The world is a broken hourglass
And we are just its means
—————————————————————————————
bohemiaspeaks.com/about
Sun melts sky
Burning curtains
All that’s left
Are sprinkled stars
Across a day
Called night
Twinkling truths
Sexless constants
There is no black or white
In light
There is no darkness
There is no bright
My home this world
And all it’s living things my life
Your face is all I see
Your eyes a gateway
To a better world
A better self
I learn to lose that self
And join this greater good
I smile and laugh and cry
And hurt and live
Until my every moment
Is an act of love
And like a sunset there
Lifts a dawn
In some place else
I want my soul
To lift this world
Towards the sky
So that we melt togehter
Into that burning truth
And join the stars
Making concious love
Freed from tasteless
Immortality
—————————————————————————————————————
http://bohemiaspeaks.com/about/
I walk barefoot, this urge I have so strong. Not because I’m naked nor poor nor in need of shoes. But because I’m curious. To feel and reconnect. From asphalt sidewalks to muddy fields of grass. A voyage through the unforeseen, that’s seen. And we all wonder, why the poor are seen.
We walk barefoot. And as the blades of grass caress our heels, the sunshine rains between our toes. I feel I know you more. Back home we dance. I witness all your life. Your past and present and what’s to come, as you sway your feet across the floor.
And in the morning, our feet cold from loneliness are touching slightly. We’ve left the world behind. We’ve left the places. We’ve left time itself. A sobering stillness melting from below. Bare feet touching anticipating another day.
No words are needed. No sounds. No smiles. We mold our dreams from clay. Making shapes, telling stories, and painting footprints on our way.
—————————————————————————————————————
http://bohemiaspeaks.com/about/
This lonesome hunger
Ploughing through my veins
Marks a turn in mind
Towards the inner-self
The fear of living
With no sense of life
Feeding off the flesh of night
Until the game is bear and bone
And every other day
Just like the one before
An empty skirmish
For the reckless soul
So much excitement
In my thoughtless deeds
More like the comfort of necessities
But nothing seems to stick for long
A woman, maybe,
A queen of queens
Sent to me from the unforeseen
But am I ready to receive?
Am I ready to believe?
That beauty
Can be maintained
In partnership
With some woman of my dreams
Or will I keep on feeding
Off the crumbs
That mark the path
Ordained for us to meet
Until my hunger drives me
In this labyrinth of desire
Across my lifetimes
Towards an end
That’s destined to complete
—————————————————————————————————————————————————
Character: 98/100
To everyone that’s lost in life. Lost in robotic routines. Satisfied and happy but looking for so much more.
I love you
More than the bonds of love
Can handle
Crutches made for giant hearts
Taking us afar
Sharing shoulders
Chests apart
But one emotion
A mystic sneezes rain
A vagrant breathes adventure
But on this chair
Forever
We can dream about the
Roads we never took
And picture stories of our life
Stories we could never realize
Everyday a different ending
Everyday a new beginning
Changed, maimed, marred
But more complete
More connected
An eternal bond
Between our broken selves
Stitching light into the unforeseen
A path for us to follow in dark times
A fighter’s mantra
For Siamese beginnings
—————————————————————————————————————————————————
Character: 96/100
To all the people out there fighting to become their better self, I have no right to assume your pain but hope to share the joy of your recovery.
The screens are shabby
From all these beaming lights
A ticking roll of film
Behind a cardboard box
No ticking clocks
A golden ticket to neverland
Or so they say
Crunching popcorn,
Sipping drinks until they slur
And every night the magic is unleashed
Rays of light dancing in a room
Glowing dust drifting in the air
A mental space for silent reverie
Where sobs and laughter echo off the walls
They go and come but I am here to stay
To witness all these stories every night
To go back home and face my meager days
Across the fringe of disconnected worlds
Evading all this bland reality
On silver screens the untold stories told
And with them all our lives seem to unfold
Our days a measure of this grand affair
To love, to live, to roam the world
To cry, to lose, to die in pain
To dream, to win it all
But life is not so grandiose
I punch a ticket with a hole
I change the rolls of films
And with it all my dreams
Projected on an ageing wall
Waiting for a magic carpet ride
To take me far away
——————————————————————————–
Character: 82/100 (We’re getting closer! Awaiting the second phase of Bohemiaspeaks!)
Dreams scratching at my face
Trying to escape my mind
To pop out of my eyes and fly away
Towards a place where they can be
Inside the bond of marriage we are two
Trying to make some sense out of our love
But passion knows no sense or meaning true
Ambiguity is what it feeds upon
Not reason nor a chartered course to make
It is the lack of reason and the doubt
That keeps the flame ablaze
A passion so strong that it fuels the night
With raging fires consuming all our thought
Between the dusty frames that bound our lives
So much is lost, so little to be told
Upon this mantelpiece that they call love
Our lives adjoin into an institute
What room is there for appetite
After the dishes have been done
I wash away the remnants of our youth
And dry our lustful aspirations with a cloth
What worldly way could we decide to choose
To keep desire hungry but subdued
It seems that what we have could never be
Bound by the sanctity of family
——————————————————————————–
Character: 77/100 (We’re getting closer!)
There beyond the twilight creeps
A distant sense of joy
And as I fly I’m swallowed by a setting sun
That cleaves the sky into a solemn darkness
But somehow deep inside my chartered course
Horizons never end
The image of your radiant face
Keeps skies alit and suns from ever setting
Your lips just like the sea below
I cast my coins into their soft embrace
Longing for a chance to dive
And soak myself with your entirety
Between these clouds
Our problems seem so meaningless
Our worries are unfound
The world is just an endless tapestry
A jagged carpet below the stars
Enduring history
And as I fly across this endless quilt
I see your face in every patch
My love, an endless sense of guilt
A flight towards my misery
A landing with no gears
Bound to end in a surprise
And as the years go by
I set my life on auto-pilot
I’m always where I need to be
——————————————————————————–
Character: 70/100
I am not afraid of that which is uncertain
Behind the drapes the sun may rise
Or darkness may pervade forevermore
But in my mental space
A whole new universe
That answers to the deepest of desires
And quenches thirsts of pleasure and relief
My heart is pierced a million times
By the trials of this world
A million sticks a’ pricking at my door
The townsmen gather here today
Demanding justice
For that which they do not know
Empty values in their midst diffuse
Ringing bells and anthems of old times
To them the world is night or day
The sun or moon can only rule the sky
But here behind my drapes in my sweet bed
So many other sons have ruled my day
Until a point where truth is lost between
The opening of my vagina and his pubic hair
A narrow fringe of laughter and despair
Why hate me if I sell my flesh
When the whole world has sold its soul
And pimped its body without care
On this sweet morn
My fleeting body is exposed
To their batons and whips and words
But I still journey in my mind
Seeking truths that everyone has left behind
Wisdom sings with squeaking beds
A million stories to be told
My bedroom is the universe
And when its drapes are drawn forevermore
My body naked waiting to be stoned
I feel content and blessed to be a whore
——————————————————————————–
Character: 65/100
Dedicated to: Stella Marr (prostitution survivor)
http://secretlifeofamanhattancallgirl.wordpress.com/about/
To you my darling ginger skin
I cast myself into the sifting flour
And as I sprinkle on your top
I’m churned into a buttery sauce
And melt across your naked chest
Sugar-coating every inch I conquer
With my splendid taste
Enchanted by your gracious self
I lose my presence in your eyes
And fumble all existence in your arms
A simple smile can keep my belly full
A naked laugh, a feast to feed the world
With you I push the limits of my mind
Towards sensations far beyond my recipes
For you I carve my heart with smiles
And marinate my soul with happiness
And even naked pheasants
Cooked on gentle fires
Would cherish every ounce of pain
Knowing that you will be served
Their feathers plucked but their conviction strong
That they in turn would taste of love
But even oven clocks can’t keep the time
They seem to tick much faster than we’d like
Our moments simmer, burning fast
Its too intense
Between the char of what we have
I cannot reproduce the taste of love
With all your tears and sobbing on my mind
I dine on banal meals and serve my hate instead
For man was never meant to taste
The bittersweet melancholy of love
——————————————————————————–
Character: 64/100
A fitting room
My arm around your waste
I set the pin in place
A tiny prick
A sigh of pain
You grab my hand
I smile
I’d sew you to my soul
And leave some pockets on your sides
So that you can find a place
To hide your secrets
But then again
I’m not your size
When wrapped around you
Even a dress itself
Would know its place
Beneath the fabric
You are meant to shine
Naked in your thoughts sublime
Conjuring perfect circles
That complete your silhouette
Come with me towards tomorrow
Why do you refuse to dream?
About another place
About the fleeting taste of memory
You live the now,
And I am bound by reverie
And even though we meet in flesh
Naked unprotected
We cannot conceive
Time between us ripped apart like daffodils
Perched atop two canyons in distress
Peering into mirrors until we burn
And fly around with smoky fumes
Across the universe until we meet
Where time converges
In some distant place
Why do you refuse to dream?
In this room
Our bodies meet, we can conceive
Another world
But when the morning shines
We realize
That we just come from different times
You dwell the now
And I am caught up in your lies
As I sew your wedding dress
I wonder why
You choose to hide yourself
In this disguise
——————————————————————————–
Character: 62/100
Tunnels dark
A metro line so thin
Ripping through the void
Empty from within
The midnight train is shouting
Last stop to Neverland!
A journey most appalling
I steer it with my hand
Colored lines on empty maps
Intertwined telling stories of the past
Of how a city came of age
Of how a vengeful lover disappeared
Into a crowd beneath the ground
I could not follow
Time for me is still
No past no future between these colored lines
I’m cursed to watch them parting ways
Between the platform and the train
Only the present counts
I have to be on time
And see progression in my cage
Without my carriages
Without these colored lines
The world would lose direction
No order can be made
No love can be sustained
And time would fall apart
The world into a chaos made
And I’m the one to blame
A silent saint never to be known
I stitch and stitch your life together
I plough through these dark caves
I’m crucified with my pay
Without a face, without a glimpse of fame
You’re mine when you’re aboard
So when you hear that call to mind the gap
Be sure to praise my name!
You better praise my name!
——————————————————————————–
Character: 60/100
In absinthe towers I lose myself to cheers
Between the dismal monuments of pain
I march along the plank of human fear
Towards convictions nested in my brain
With bottles full of magic rum I fly
Beyond the suffering of everyday
I glide towards the hills where I reside
In lands of sexual debauchery
A futile glass, a futile soul in me
But so much spirit in this glass I see
In this sweet land
A word becomes a million lines
With ease I write the odyssey of my life
A feeling multiplied
And stretched across the universe
A thinned down sheath of porous cheese
For Jupiter to see
Convictions rise and fall
Just like the heroes of ancient times
Achilles healed only to his own heel
But sentiments of guilt do linger on
The only heroes old enough to save the day
Are all those spirits in my cup, I drink
We age together in breweries of dreams
Between the barely and yeast
We fight against the sentinels and beasts
When everything is lost in life
Why venture on another trip afar?
When here in absinthe towers atop the world
Shabby bars, one-dollar whores and glory
You live like kings and get to tell your story!
——————————————————————————–
Character: 59/100
Treasure hunts in our backyard
Tin foil hats, space ships and bubble gum
A million types of play-doh jarred
I’d pop the lids and start the fun
Shaping my own universe
With rules to break
I’d stay up late
Dreaming of those stars afar
And in the day
Staring at the sun until it hurts
Now I’m here above the world
There’s not much difference
The toys are bigger
Though bubble gum is not allowed
The play dough seems so real
I try to mold the world
It doesn’t budge
I’m here to do repairs
A few spare parts
Are in my goody bag
But there’s no party
There is no setting sail
Across the universe
There is no Captain Spock
I’m here on orders
Just like this big machine
A disenchanted astronaut
No room for fantasies in outer space
In this real world
You’re paid and trained
And then your dreams are drained
I wonder what they’d do
If I changed course
Towards the sun
To fill a flask with stardust and return
To sprinkle it across the earth
Until we burn
And melt into a children’s clay
Let it be known
In this tin-can where shadows play
Only with childish wisdom can we see
The contours of our true identity
——————————————————————————–
Character: 50/100
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In the heart of the desert
Wisdom is an oasis
On the pathway
of every caravan
Lives, a carpet ride
above the burning sands
There is no escape
From raging dunes
We were not meant
to be awake
Under the sun
It is as if the men
That come and go
Are in a tug-of-war
Carpet tassels
Floating in the wind
Tied to each other
Each pulling towards
its end in vain
A tapestry of life
But as for me
My carpets are
not meant to fly
I weave them here to stay
Seek refuge in the sand
Woven into desert land
Without its grains
the desert would not be
But in its being,
grains of sand are free
To make their way
Across the dunes
To wander for eternity
Without constraint
That’s how we’re meant to be
——————————————————————————–
Character: 49/100
What awaits us then?
Dunes of sand
Never-ending journeys
In distant lands, exotic
With languages idiotic
Songs we’ve never heard
Imaginary kingdoms below a tent
With colored dances throughout the night
Lighting up horizons with their flare
And as the time approaches for our cue
We melt inside a loosely knit parade
Why are we afraid of not knowing?
When fear is but another avenue of adventure
A line to walk without a net to fall upon
A rope released to fly across the room
And right before you reach the safety point
The wisdom of the world shines right upon you
You realize
The price tags of today lose value
And all that is around you seems to glow
Why are we afraid?
To venture forward in this world
To give ourselves to something larger
To fuse ourselves with magical delight
And free ourselves, just like a wandering bird
Living off what the day provides
Taking shelter when it rains
Jugglers, jesters, lion tamers
No expectation, no anticipation
Just faith
Everlasting, eternal, steadfast
And never budging faith
——————————————————————————–
Character: 48/100
Through my goggles
I see another world
A land of smoke and molten lava
Believe and you shall reap
For at love’s length
There’s nothing one can’t reach
And after winters cold and barren
Spring will bloom
A simple shrub
Atop a carpet made of snow
Will signal the beginning of something new
A fire deep inside
Dampened by the rain will burn again
I prep my tools
A thick red flame will jump right out
Of my machine
And snatch your heart towards another world
A heart of stone can never burn
It only melts
In shining molten lava land
Liker rivers thick, it flows
Like starry skies, it glows
We’re blinded by its light
A million shadows on the walls unfold
A million stories to be told
Of drunken nights and journeys old
And as I work my way into your chest
I leave my mark
I mend your broken heart
I keep the fire on
This time the warmth
Is never-ending
The lava flows between our eyes
It brings us joy
I take my goggles off
And as we liken ourselves to the gods
We burn to death
To rise again reborn
——————————————————————————–
Character: 45/100
When I was young
I danced with all the mirrors of my house
I danced with love
I danced for things I did not understand
I danced with passion
And hungered for his heart
That being so deranged and powerful
That I called art
Now as I dance
So frigid and alone
My body paints a portrait on the face
Of all those men
Whom in beauty are enlightened
The spotlight’s on
And I perform
In grace I move along
The lines of their desire
I’m dancing to the songs
Of lustful men in choir
To satisfy their hearts
I unleash my inner fire
I’m captive to producers
And the whims of those who hire
I milk their eyes from tears
I scratch their skin so hard it bleeds
I pinch their private parts they scream
But I still dream
This is the truth,
I’m hostage to this being so deranged
Objectifying sex in my career
Is this art?
The erotic notion of their inner craves
What about platonic needs?
Or is life nothing but a gentle sexcapade
On the banks of their collective inclinations
They punt eternally in waters deep and cold
A gondola ride with lustful aspirations
I still will dream
Butterflies do not lose hope
Floating above the ruins of my past
As time goes by
My moves decay
My beauty withers
A self inflicted mutiny
I’m thrown away
I shrivel in my own abode
Afraid to meet the world
I build my own cocoon
Hoping that again one day
That being so deranged
Will ask me out to play
——————————————————————————–
Character: 42/100
Hell has built its citadel
And put me on display
The devil taunts my body parts
The inferno is ablaze
And as the fire burns inside
My flesh is dripping off my bones
Conventions fail to save me here
Even human kindness does not convene
But pain can guide you towards relief
With broken bones and aching joints
I’m baptized into new beliefs
I cross the gate and understand
That my religion is that of grief
And so is his
The soldier at the gate
In pain there is camaraderie
Back home where all my countrymen
Are hurting soldiers just like here
I’m sure the tortured understand
That pain and anguish bind us all
And for some moments
I wish that I could build a land
Where both the enemies share their prison cells
A neutral third can take the job
An outsourced torture
For all of us to have
We’d both be hanged on wires thin
We’d both be asked to sit on bottles tall
We’d both be whipped and tossed aside
We’d both be peed on
Together
Until are dignity drowns
And yes you ask me, this makes more sense?
At least by seeing whom I hate
In my same pain
And him by seeing me
We’d feel less pain
And in some way
We’d set each other free
——————————————————————————–
Character: 41/100
Splinters
Across my palms they reign
No need for psalms in lands of fury
The cold will not forget your flesh
And so we sacrifice a log or two
Atop this fire burning every night
We pray for life and as the fire dies
We sit and watch the moon so bright
We join its crescent to become full
And as the snow descends
We use its flakes
To weave a story that warms our hearts
We speak of love, we speak of hope
But all is lost to this cold night
Her skin is chapped
Her hands are blue
Her hair no longer waving in the wind
She does not smile
Instead she gives a solemn stare
Into the dark abyss she pierces through
Towards a world of everlasting sun
And as I toil to keep her warm
I wage a war against the universe
One bearded man, one ax, one soul
Against the greater awe that bounds us all
I stab into the forest hard
To steal some life for her to have
A Spanish knight against the mills of change
I fight and fall then rise and fight again
One eye upon the dying flame
Another on the endless woods of hope
Let every splinter in my flesh
Cry out to her magnificence
And after all the forests of the land
I’ll set myself ablaze to save her life
And so the year comes to an end
The clockwork breaks
Nuts and bolts flying through the air
A piece of my soul caught between the dials
Pulling down to stop the world
The clockwork crumbles
Into a million pieces
Its pendulum is tired
Its chimes are faint and muffled
Its watches on the hands of many passersby
Explode into a million numbers
As my hands shiver and my eyes squint
So many years I’ve kept the time
And in so doing I have lost
My time
And as the New Year ushers in
With blessings many
I rally in the cold to make it home
A shabby little cottage on the hill
Alone and empty from within
I sit beside the fire for a while
Tonight my clock will strike for one last time
And history will fade into my grave
Who will tell the time when I am gone?
Who will keep the knobs well screwed and ticking?
Another peddler on the street will take my place
Like an old engraving I fade away
I never was entitled to my own watch
Thank you
Thank you for everything you have given me
A life with many blessings
The fruit of your hard work
You travelled the world in search of success
And the world failed you
You gave back with all your heart
And people failed you
You were faithful to a cause
And that cause failed you
Even me your son
I’ve failed you
I’ve failed to show you how I feel
To show you the love that you deserve
I’ve failed to get to know you better
I’ve failed you in so many ways
And now they tell me
You may have to go
I understand
But I’m not ready
Even with news like this
I’m helpless and unable
To use what little time I have
So much, there is, that’s to be done
And so much to make up for
That trying seems a useless task
Even your dying fails you
I want to dip my heart in fruit
My mind in sweetened butter
I want to melt into a jam
And spread myself
Across the timeline of our lives
I want to stick
And be a part of every memory
So many wars you’ve fought
And now’s the time to fight again
In life or death we all can find a win
It just depends on what we’re looking for
What makes me sad is that I know
You always looked beyond yourself
And made us more of what we are today
So if you pass, a piece of us will disappear
Forgive me dad
I love you
But you’re alone
Now is the time
It is the present
It is the gift
And between the smears
The smudges of my sundial
Sketched on the sand
I dance, burning my feet
As the sun pours in its time
And with my toes I carve a new beginning
A new device that only points to now
A compass that I use to venture forward
Towards the frontiers of that which is unknown
And no fear shall I know inside me
Of failure, restlessness, or demise
For I live now
I am transparent
The cosmic rays of time
Can never shape me
I am fluid
I take the shape of whatever life gives me
I am dense
With love and knowledge and eternal forgiveness
I sit atop this cauldron boiling
My legs apart
Sexless and alone
Afraid to dive inside
A vehicle that will take me somewhere else
A land where time has lost its meaning
A land where people don’t have form
A land where thoughts can replicate like cancer
And swarm towards the borders of the obscene
And when I’ve burned
Atop this mystic sundial on the sand
I join the yellow grains below my feet
My dance of liberation has left a mark
I am a castle sculpted on the sandy shores
Between the mussels and the clams
I am queen
And what else do I need!
Flickering wings, a carpet flying far away
With strings of creatures woven in between
I see it drifting towards me
And hear the roaring of a million tiny pendulums
Cracking at each other’s sides forevermore
I take a shot.
Soon enough the sun is covered with a hive
And all the colors seem to fade away
The things we used to do to feel alive
Have lost their taste as these vile creatures
Feast on what remains from yesterday
I shoot again.
With forward looking sentiments
We forget the now
And live in worlds constructed from our fears
The world we’re forced to dwell in soon becomes
The very world of fears we sought to clear
Another click.
The locusts rally, the trumpets sound
And battle drums are pounded
The colors of the sun have gone away
And with it all the warmth has been disguised
Alone afraid in this dark room
I hold on to what little light I have left
A few pictures from yesterday
Over exposed and blurry
Bits and pieces of my mind
Crumble as I hide
The locusts eat away
And as our memories are devoured
I light a fire naked and alone
Throwing in the final batch of pictures
Fearing what will happen
When the light goes out
I take one final shot.
Its cold outside
Let me share your coat
I never thought a piece of cloth
Can hold so much affection
The fabric’s made of cotton,
That I know
But in its inner weaving I can feel
An endless comfort,
A roller coaster ride
From nothingness towards the greater awe
That we all fear,
And wrong we are in doing so
Placed underneath the canopy
Of our shared love
My body moves beyond the cold
I feel no hunger
My poverty subsides
The warmth of strings
Wrapped all around my shaking corpse
Are so much more
Than the garment that they comprise
For some brief moments
We join them to become
A collective being
The fabric of our love
Holds us together firmly
For some time
I am a beggar
And you have been so kind
To lend me comfort
A simple act, though it may be
Makes it so clear
Why can’t the whole world understand?
Just like these threads were destined to be part
Of your sweet coat
We too are destined to take part
In the sweet fabric of universal love
Lights flickering
Smoke machines breathing foggy mist
Constant pulsation of a tacky beat
And in the darkness of the room
An army of yellow teeth
Smiling
I take some hits before I take the stage
A needle squeezes comfort in my veins
Emerging from the foggy mist
My body cleaves across the room
The contours of my golden skin
Slides on the squeaky granite floor
I start with letting my hair go loose
I feel the air begin to thin around me
I pull aside my straps and untie
The laces that keep my basque in place
As I reveal myself to the outer world
My body floods with feelings of seduction
The men around me reveal themselves by drooling
They feel my heat
I feel their slobber seeping up the stage
A stream of murky liquid flowing towards me
I touch my skirt and as they gaze
I rip it off and set the cloth ablaze
Although I’ve practiced many times
The plumes of smoke still choke me
I dance along the dotted line
In total nudeness I embrace my fate
And suddenly the lights begin to dim
The smoky plumes, they clog my lungs
I’m drowning in a tank of slimy drool
I’m wet with hunger
Swimming with a million beefy men
A gush of pain flows through my head
I wonder who will share my bed
Its all mixed up and all too fast!
I puke and faint.
And with it all the world converges in a dot
They quickly drag my body towards the back
I’m three months pregnant and can’t make the rent
Where would she live?
How would I feed her?
How would she feel about my job?
The owner asks to redo my routine
I prep my outfit
I jump into the spotlight once again
The brothel’s rooms are full tonight
No room is left aside for second thoughts
In search of what is whole we dwell in dreams
For dreaming can create a sense of truth
We drift along the border of what seems
A pathway paved with mirrors of our youth
We feed our lust with images so obscene
We fill our veins with drops of magic ink
We bleed ourselves and drink our blood to wean
Ourselves from drinking what we’re taught to think
And so between destruction and the awe
We bloom into a being so deranged
But in our inner conflict there’s no flaw
A perfect balance of creative change
The downside is that we will not survive
To show the others how to be alive
It’s hot in here,
I’m afraid of the dark.
But I feel protected
From what awaits me in the world
I feel so lonely
But propriety dictates that I remain concealed
From the world outside the contours of my drape
Sex and what not, the lustful sentiments of horny men
Is what they’ve taught me to escape
And so I live my life in a cocoon
A victim of their own perversion
Waiting for my wings to grow
To fly above it all
In graceful color
With time I blossom,
I feel a throbbing urge between my legs
A power stronger than the course of time
I’m taught to keep my feelings to myself
But something in me can’t withstand the wait
Its time to break this shell and fly away
No worries,
Opening night awaits
Soon I am to marry
The curtains will be drawn
And I will perform
I wonder how it feels to hold his hand
I wonder what would happen if he sees my face
Would he like it?
Would he smile?
Would we share a conversation?
No worries,
Opening night awaits
The curtains will be drawn
And I will perform
I am a theater, I am a stage
A portable performance
That features private sessions every night
A life-time ticket guarantees your audience
And only one man will get to have the chance
Let’s see who’ll pay the highest bid
For me to draw the curtains and spread my legs
A joyous toy, quite practical to keep at home
And as the days go by
The narrative of my life remains
A story of a girl in chains,
A story of a girl in chains!
I pick her up,
Every night
At the curb
She waits for me
And I arrive
On the spot
Never late
I drive her through this concrete jungle
But in my heart
Another jungle is being driven
Towards the surface
It will explode
And with it a million unspoken words
Will be unleashed
I step outside to help her with her luggage
She lays a leg outside the cab
And pushes down with the other
Her gentle hands press hard against the door
She slams it shut
The glass inside me shatters
The wind picks up
It blows away the papers in her folder
I help her gather what she has lost
And in so doing I lose myself
I grab her,
Papers full of notes
I clutch them hard towards my chest
The more she screams
The more I race to grab her,
Papers with some scribbles
My sweat is smearing between her lines
Creating smudges that tell a different story
Of how our lives have intertwined
And how it’s bound to end in glory
As her skirt flutters
She yells with passion
“Quickly, Quicker!”
I grab her papers harder
They’re emptied now
And in their blankness
I hope to write
The story of our love affair
Instead she pays the taxi fare
And walks away
I realize the cab’s still on
And drive away
What’s wrong with me?
I sure as hell
Need to get laid
Another curb
Another stranger
Until I satisfy,
My lustful escapade
I’m ripping through!
I’m almost there
On the other side
I can smell the baloney sandwiches
In the land of truth
Where the sun never sets
I am a prisoner
Of my own thoughts
A freedom fighter I like to think
A matador of self inflicted truth
I speak out loud and someone shrugs
They place me in a metal cage
My shrieks they break the glass
And afterwards
I use the pieces
To light a fire
Inside my head
I stab and stab and stab away
My laughter overcomes the pain
I use my palms to paint the walls
With dark red strokes
I draw a door
I must escape
I’m almost there
I ram the door
It just won’t budge
I ram and ram and ram away
My shoulder splits
I use the pieces
To pick the lock
It just won’t budge
This door I’ve made
And everything I’ve said and done
My whole life’s work
Is not enough to make it happen
I slowly sink towards the floor
In utmost pain
Beaten, stabbed, burned and shattered
I go to bed
I need my rest
Tomorrow
I’ll try again
To find the answer
My proud charade of self-determination
This screen
With bleeping tickers
And shining lights
Reminds me of a distant dream
Let’s join the circus
You and I, we’ll roam the world
Make love on every coast
And drink ourselves into a shiny haze
You’ll throw the knives,
That be your act!
You always had a piercing eye
You aim and make your mark right on the spot
You did that with my heart
So I suppose
The world would love you
And I can be your aide.
That’s what she used to say,
But as days passed
We saw the world converge
Into a path
And headed forth
No questions asked
I wanted more
I want the best
Or so I thought
And throwing knives
Just could not make the cut
And lo behold
In my glass place
My office overlooks the world
I see the market move
It represents
The movements of
A million hearts
Some place their fear
Some feed their greed
Some with conviction
Make their mark
Some make a move
Some are too shy
Some sleep with every
Rising shark
And as for me,
I get to watch it all
I place the trade
Enjoy the spreads
But with it comes a haunting toll
I’ve traded dreams of shining circus lights
For tickers flashing green and red
The trading floor a circus field
The hedger walks the line above a net
My boss spits fire from his mouth
And juggles papers back and forth
The clowns shout back and wave their hands
And for the grand finale
A bull or bear
I’ve spread my legs between two worlds
Up to the point where I could feel them tear
And with them torn, my life apart,
My high school sweetheart
She used to prep my lunch-box every morning,
Is just another stranger across the road
In her own office
I’ll place a trade today and hope she buys
Maybe we could touch in cyberspace.
———————————————————————————————
Thanks so much to all those who have subscribed! I really appreciate it!
Fuck this.
I haven’t showered
For so long
My soul drenches in its own sweat
I’m treading over the remains
My small white feet
So cold and wet
Are ploughing through the mud
I feel it ooze
Between my toes
A gooey spread of marmalade
Where the fuck am I?
Last I remember I was in his hands
He smiled and let go of the wheel
We drifted for some time
And then a bang
The children in the back
I heard them cry
They stopped after some time
For quite a while
They never cried again
I wonder why
What the fuck!
He never touched me
Like he did her
They used to lay together
For the day
I used to lay the day together
For him to stay
Let’s dance bitch
I cut the breaks
With a smile on my face
I let go of the wheel
I staged it all
And so we crashed
And with us
All out bitterness
Exploded into pieces
All our memories
Were undone
But I survived
With a clean slate
To start again
A new beginning
Its sweet!
But I cannot seem to wash away
This dark red marmalade
———————————————————————————————-
Thanks so much to all those who have subscribed! I really appreciate it!
We are all passing by
Dancing through this life
Skipping through the Milky Way
And yet when everything seems to make sense
We lose sense of it all
We age, we grow, we wither
And beyond the silky skies
The mysteries of existence
We cannot look
We cannot see
We try to peer across the corner
We catch our breaths
But yet again death catches us
Empty handed
It visits us in our homes
With no invitation
It enters our families
Makes friends with our friends
Parades through our lives
Uninvited
Claims us all
Claims everything
This whole entirety is up for grabs
Continuously claimed
Destroyed
And then
There’s room for more creation
The newborn is as much a murderer as my sickness
The seed sown deeply into the ground
Drinks from the blood of its predecessor
It could have not existed
Without a death
In search of meaning we say
We’re all connected
We switch our thoughts
We say it had to die
For life to be brought forth
But no,
There is no meaning in life
We know that
And for all we know as well
There may be even more meaning in death
So we are wrong
It is the other way
Its life that kills not death
And so, only in death can we be set free
Monstrous tentacles ploughing through my veins
(To be rambled very quickly)
Regardless of the debate regarding
the effectiveness of international legalization,
one cannot deny
from a descriptive point of view
that the cultural values of the renaissance
and enlightenment eras in Europe
act as the building blocks
of our modern international liberal order.
To the extent in which
the international normative environment
is contingent on the sociocultural values
of a specific form of polity
(that of Europe to be precise),
an anomaly arises
when such an international model is used
to govern diverse polities
with different understandings of social values.
One could assume
that only when an international order
that better reflects the notion
of uneven and combined development
comes into existence,
then such an anomaly can be solved.
In this respect we may conclude
that the current liberal order is anachronistic
with the logic of social evolution
and of humanity as a whole.
Combined with smiles and laughter I release
My inner anger spreads into the air
The stench of fear is overcome by peace
The calmness of an empty dragon’s lair
A smile so innocent from her lips so pure
Unclothes the pieces of my inner gloom
The more she smiles the more I feel secure
Undressing me as spring bursts into bloom
She shakes as I exchange her gentle touch
We mate and I ascend into a haze
The fire burns as we lay whole and clutch
Our passion keeps the dying flame ablaze
Forever seems to linger far away
All I ask for is another day
The countless thorns we try to pluck
We count and pluck and throw away
Have made another bush beneath our feet
And now the thorns we once had overcome
Are sounding bells for our own sad defeat
When plucking thorns it is a must to think
Beyond the pleasure of the pain
of plucking our own plights
What of the thorns when they’re discharged?
A harmless little lifeless thing we think
But soon enough we come to learn
That as we march towards victory
We drown in our own reckless pride
For such a future prickle pickle
Remember to go against your instinct
Don’t pluck the living hell out of yourself
Instead just treat the wounds and wait until
Those thorny bastards fall off along your way
Pestilence in our imagery controls our sight
And everything we sought to have falls short
Of what our fingertips can reach for
With impaired vision and obstructed touch
We yell out loud to rip apart the void
That engulfs our entirety but alas
Our sounds bounce of the thickness of our cage
And we end up victims of our own decree
With bleeding ears, incapable eyes and severed hands
We rest on what we used to call our home
Turned into something of our grave
Appliances and rooms just objects in the yard
And compounding our ordeal we’re left with taste and smell
The taste of misery and smell of a decaying corpse
bohemiaspeaks 